Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships and what makes them work. There’s no doubt that we all crave relationship with others to some degree. Some of us need lots of people around us most of the time to interact with, and some of us need only half as many people around. (or less)
Regardless where we fall with the amount of time we want to spend around others, we all have the need for relationship.
What makes some people like magnets to other people, drawing in all kinds of friends and interaction all the time, while others wish they would have one good friend that they feel connected to and safe with?
There are many variables that figure into that, but the one I’ve been thinking about is this one-
If you want to have friends and great relationships, you have to be willing to be your true self as well as let others be who they are.
If you wish to have strong, deep relationships, you need to be willing to be vulnerable and open your heart to others. But just as important is the concept that you must allow others to be who they are! If you aren’t comfortable with others being real about who they are and allow them to express what they are thinking and feeling, there’s no way that they will feel comfortable or enjoy being with you.
The only way real relationship takes place is when dialogue between people can happen. If you can’t have conversation with someone that disagrees with you on an issue while honoring and respecting their position, the relationship cannot grow deeper.
We all long to be valued and loved for who we are. We like to feel heard when we speak our heart.
This concept and recipe for strong, healthy relationships goes two ways! If you want to be heard, you must also hear. If you want to be valued, you must also value. Relationship by definition flows both ways! If we can’t be open, loving, and honoring to others, by default we are making it very difficult for them to be open, loving and honoring towards us!
Relationship goes both ways. Paul taught both the Galatians and the Corinthians that what a man plants is what he will harvest. If you plant sparingly or infrequently, that’s the way you will harvest. But if you plant generously, you will harvest generously!
What you give is what you will get back in relationship. So give only what you want to get back!
We all have experiences in relationship, both good and bad. I’d love to hear your thoughts and what you have learned in your relationships. What have others done that has made you feel valued? What do you love about your relationships?